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On a Skype call with Marshall…

Flexed my arms to look all impressive, channeling my inner Alex Louis Armstrong when suddenly…

I flexed so hard I MADE MYSELF BURP.

Still, Marsh laughed so evidently I am now flirting on expert mode.

Lol jk we end up doing this for half an hour every night:


one time i was eating some chips and salsa with my mom and it was really spicy so i went “i feel like a dragon” because my mouth was fucking on fire and my mom just casually says “you only want to be a dragon so you can have that hiccup boy ride you”

it took her a few moments to realize her mistake


so i was taking a bath

a bubble bath to be specific

i used half a bar of lush’s comforter (however you fucking spell it) and this happened


crazy right? i think my mom’s tub is made of magic powers or something

so i had a nice bath, watched some cry plays on my ipad

and i drained my tub

i came down to my room, two floors down in the basement

and i am greeted with this



(Source: kikuchimoa)

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